Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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