He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't turn off my feet"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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