I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
