I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
