all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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