so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
