so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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