Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize