I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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