idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
