Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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