How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
