And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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