The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
