...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
