it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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