This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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