He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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