someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Buhtt sex?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
