I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
