ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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