Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
