all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
