just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
