She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
