Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
