The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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