You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
