Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
