i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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