She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
