I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
