Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
