there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize