If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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