Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
