i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
