Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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