I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
