He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
