after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
