do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize