She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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