are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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