Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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