Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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