I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
