Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
