im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
