Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
