Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize