he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
