could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're a waste of cheezeits
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
