dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
