someone get that fucking seahorse.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
