Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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