hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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