no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
White coat. Heels.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
