u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
pray to the hookup gods
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
